This pic loooks SO gay!



Being the retard that I am.....oh my God.... where are my hands?!?!?!?

Betty Butterfield.....Mormon by Proxy

Sunday Bloody Sunday....

I haven't written a Sunday Post in quite a while. As I sit here and type, I'm smoking a cigarette, working on an Olde English 40, and have just finished masturbating with XTUBE.....why.....it just aint Christian!

I missed Mass this morning...I worked a day shift yesterday at a local hospital downtown and I was SO exhausted when I got home. I watched some of the Harry Potter movie on TV, ate and went to bed...all by 9:00. As I was drifting off, the newscasters were whipping up more fear and pandemonium about the Swine Flu. God.....I saw a woman walking around with a surgical mask on out in front of the ambulance bay at Brakenridge Hospital in downtown Austin yesterday.It's so silly....another nurse pointed out to me yesterday that last year alone, the regular flu killed thousands in America alone. You'll have to research the exact figure for yourselves.

Mormons......known some all my life. The most notable Mormon I remember was Elizabeth Jorgenson.......or in the Southern-Slang we spoke, 'Lizbeth Jorgasun. Why are there SO MANY Scandinavian/Germanic Mormons? Anyway, Elizabeth was a friend of mine from elementary school to graduation. I don''t know where she is now. Elizabeth was something of an enigma.....an acquired taste.....you either loved her, hated her, or experienced something of a mingling of the two emotions at any given moment. I loved her to death...particularly in high school. I'll never forget her in elementary school art class one day, coming off as something akin to the proverbial skunk at the picnic announcing to all of us little ones that shared "the table" with her that our churches weren't real, and that not a one of us was going to Heaven but her......Ah....the zeal of the member of a "new religion."

If what I'm about to say offends any Mormons out there, well...I'm sorry . It's my opinion. What I'm abbot to say is the truth, and you KNOW it in your most secret heart of hearts...Elizabeth, if you're reading this, bear with me girl....Mormonism is a man made, fabricated, false religion....a cult. Modern anthropology blows the Mormon tenet that the American Indians are one of the lost tribes of Isreal completely outta the water. It's just not true. As for the "Golden Tablets" that John Smith was supposedly led to by the Mormon Angel Moroni....where are they? Why weren't they ever seen by anyone?

I'm of the Old Faith.....the original Christianity....the Catholic Church. God knows the Catholic Church gets a bad rap, what with the Inquisition and pedo Priests and all. An interesting fact...the Spanish Inquisition is still in existence, though in a much, much more benign role. Talk amongst yourselves,,,

For me, an individual who has practiced religions ranging from Wicca to Buddhism to Hinduism, the Catholic Church is the ultimate spiritual teaching...it contains the ritual of witchcraft, the mysticism and meditative practices of Buddhism and the Hindu tradition, and the practicality of Judaism....the whole ball of spiritual wax.

And yet....you have so many ex-Catholics...so many of us who title themselves "non-practicing" Catholics. Why? I read not long ago that the large majority of converts to Buddhism were dissatisfied Jews. I think that we have the need to set ourselves apart...to go looking elsewhere for the new, the exciting, and the exotic. I certainly know this to be true in my case.

What I'm saying is this: read, explore all the exotic, esoteric and "different" philosophies you want...it's good to be well versed in spiritual matters....and when you're done, take a look at what you come from. Take a better look at the Jewel of faith that you grew up with. When you take that better look, you might not see as many differences as you thought.

Love and Blessings,

Michael

Here's a brief clip of my lovely historic church, St. Mary's Cathedral, Austin Texas

Comforting words.......

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness; for they shall be filled. I will not leave you comfortless:
I will come to you. At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you.

Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of time.
Jesus the Christ




We can be spacious yet full of loving kindness; full of compassion, yet serene. Live like the strings of a fine instrument....not to taught yet not to loose.
Buddha


Everyday, monks minutely examine the Dharma and endlessly chant complicated sutras , Before doing that, they should learn how to read the love letters sent by the wind and rain, the snow and moon .
Ikkyu

Like two golden birds perched on a tree, the ego and self are united companions. One eats the sweet and sour fruits from the tree, while the other eats nothing. As long as you identify with the ego, you will both joy and sorrow retain,But if you realize that you are the self, the lord of life, you will be free from suffering. You will transcend duality and move to a state of oneness.
Bagavad Gita

If your compassion for all does not include yourself, it is not complete.
Buddha

Nostalgia.....

when I'm sad, I become nostalgic...I draw comforting old songs about me. I love this old song, from my most beloved band of all times, the Scottish group Cocteau Twins.




And...another....a beautiful solo by Liz.


Another solo by Liz Fraser...very touching, beautiful, melancholy song...







Another beautiful old love...Kate Bush...

Mná na hÉireann" which translates to "Women of Ireland" from the Irish language....







Kate's beautiful duet with Peter Gabriel, "Don't Give Up."



And the Kate Bush classic.....

MGMT at SXSW

MGMT at Stubbs, South by Southwest, 2009

Las Cruces

I'm visiting my brother in Las Cruces, a beautiful desert city in Southern New Mexico. I lived here years ago...close to 20 years ago I think. I'm currently doing a travel nurse assignment in the area. I'm enjoying visiting here in my home state, however it only reinforces my love of Austin and my Texan Nature....lol....We took these pics in the backyard this morning. The Organ Mountains are beautiful...stunning. The clouds were boiling and spilling over the mountains. I'll probably be here in New Mexico for at least a month before I get to head back home.

Notes From the Border

I MISS YOU BIG K! Short Bald and Gorgeous, I LOVE YOU!!!!!! I'll be back home in Austin soon.

"and there's also some REAL good recovery in Austin....."

I despise 12 Step platitudes....always have. An old buddy of mine used to repeat them to me now and again just to watch me groan and shudder I think. This Betty bit is new...aty least to me. I hope you relish it as do I....

Oh Lady Bird...where art thou....

LadyBird Johnson....the old girl finally sloughed off this mortal coil and bought the farm in 2007. Now I love Texas, and I love Austin, but a terrible thing happened while I was living back in New Mexico. At some point between the time Lady Bird Johnson went into the light and now, our central lake, AKA the Colorodo River, AKA Lake Austin, AKA Town Lake, has been renamned...embarassingly, Lady Bird Lake. I just groaned when I saw the sign, and I'd been back here quite a while before I noticed.


It's just hokey and corney and really stereotypically Texas. It's just so King of the Hill. I love King of the Hill by the way, and I especially love the K.O.T.H AdultSwim billboard we have on Burnett Rd. Austin's just never really felt like Texas to me. Lubbock is Texas....Amarillo is Texas. I can grasp a Lady Bird Lake in one of those two loo-loo's, but not here in Asustin. I'd have preferred "Lake Leslie" I think. Anyway...who cares about a "mescun's" opinion anyway....lol. R.I.P Lady Bird!

Pain

Pain, without love,

Pain, I can't get enough.

Pain, I like it rough'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

You're sick of feeling numbYou're not the only one.

I'll take you by the hand,

And I'll show you a world that you can understand.

This life is filled with hurt,

When happiness doesn't work.

Trust me and take my hand,

When the lights go out you'll understand.

Pain, without love,

Pain, I can't get enough.

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

Pain, without love.

Pain, I can't get enough.

Pain, I like it rough,

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

Anger and agony,

Are better than misery.

Trust me, I've got a plan

When the lights go off you'll understand.

Pain, without love,

Pain, I can't get enough.

Pain, I like it rough',

Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

Pain, without love,

Pain, I can't get enough.

Pain, I like it rough,

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing,

Rather feel pain......

I know (I know I know I know I know)That you're wounded.

You know (You know you know you know you know)That I'm here to save you.

You know (You know you know you know you know)I'm always here for youI know (I know I know I know I know)

That you'll thank me later.

Pain, without love,

Pain, can't get enough.

Pain, I like it roughm

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

Pain, without love,

Pain, I can't get enough.

Pain, I like it rough,

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all,

Rather feel pain than nothing at all,

Rather feel pain .......

Tuesday afternoon....Keanu and Coffee

I've had a nice today...went to see "The Day the Earth Stood Still." I was a bit disappointed in it. It was good, but there just seemed something lacking. Keanu, God bless him....I've always loved him because of his physical beauty and been able to overlook his acting...He was really dull and lackluster and lifeless, more so than ever before...and he's aging badly. Makes me sad...we're all getting so old. I was also hoping to see more death and destruction as well.....was envisioning destruction on the "War of the Worlds" scale of mayhem. This was the first movie I'd been to in years....the last movie I went to was here in Austin several years ago. I went to an Alamo Drafthouse in the north. There's one right around the corner from me, but the movie wasn't playing there. I love Alamo. I don't know how widespread these theaters are, but they're great. You can order food and drinks. The movies are really an eclectic mix as well...indie to mainstream. The weather was nice today, so I sat out at Bouldin for a couple hours and played around on the computer, then went to my AA meeting. These are the mundane Days of My Life. I love these days, though. I've got nothing to do the rest of the evening, just going to go crawl in my warm bed and watch tv.....night.

Sunday....Hormonally Yours..

Well, it's the first Sunday of the new year. This holiday season has hit me hard. I'm really depressed and homesick, so this is gonna be short. It's funny....this time last year I was sad because I wasn't in TX, and now I'm sad because I'm not in NM. I just miss my mother and sister.

I went to church tonight, then out to Austin Recovery for the alumni meeting. I started balling on the way home...lol...I'm like a menopausal woman these days. I cry at the drop of a hat! What got me was just the warmth and gratitude I felt as I was leaving AR. That place saved my life. It's a really big emotional comfort-zone for me. The meeting was fantastic and wonderful and uplifting. Very occasionally, I see different guys that I used to know. Most of my old recovery friends are gone...either dead or faded into limbo, and that's a sad fact for me, but I'm still here...I'm still alive, which given what I've been through these last 10 years is a monumentous miracle.

That's all I have for tonight....just gratitude to God, to Austin Recovery and places like it that save lives...here come the tears....lol....

Blessings,

Michael


Betty Butterfield visits the Uniterians

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