I typed this question into Google today, and couldn't really find a satisfactory answer. I saw many articles on why gay men lie about their age and cock size, why they cheat so much, and a couple of other combinations that just didn't fit the bill. I wanted to know, specifically, why gay men seem more apt to be inconsistant, unreliable, undependable, and seemingly unable to commit to a relationship, though they may represent themselves as indeed seeking "something more" than a quick "quickie" or as they say on Gay.Com, a hookup. In other words, why are gay men such assholes?
I"ve been pondering this question for twenty-something years. I have to admit, that in my much younger days I would have qualfied as a flake, an enormous flake as a matter of fact. But I grew up.
Why does this ability to grow up seem to ellude my kind?
I read a pseudo-biographical novel many years ago entitled The Beautiful Room is Empty, by Edmund White. In the book, he coined a catchy phrase I've never forgotten: "embalmed adolescence." This phrase really struck a chord with me. I saw myself and 90 some odd percent of my gay acquaintances and former lovers described to a tee.
Why?
The answer, as I said, eludes me. As a gay male adult in the dating scene and wanting to settle down, I'm unfortunately faced with this behavior in others, particularly in guys whom I know, and would like to know even better. I'm a "realist," though. Although I insist on seeing the good in my fellow man, in trusting again and again, I can't help but feel constant disappointment. If there are ANY gay men out there who read this, and can show to me some evidence that they truly are trustworthy, consistent, true to their word and mean what they say, I'll gladly retract this article and eat my words. Until then, however, I'm forced to remain a reluctant realist.
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