Sunday, December 21, 2008

Memories of Christmas...The Four Great Frustrations!



Wow...almost Christmas again. It really slipped up on me. Here it is almost upon us and over, and I haven't even really enjoyed the buildup. I was downtown tonight and was so happy to see the lights and decorations. They are beautiful. There were horse-drawn carriages giving happy looking families and couples enjoying the warmth of being in love rides down the cold city streets. Austin really puts on a good show at Christmas.

When I was little, every day building up to Christmas was a celebration...it was Ecstasy! I remember the excitement and euphoria of decorating our Christmas tree and sitting around it as a family nightly to enjoy the lights. My mother would decorate the house with candles and greens. She'd also be making fudge and other goodies, and I can remember the smells. I used to have little Santa dolls and other little brick-a-brack little kids love up on the mantle. And oh yes...hanging the stockings!



Every day was filled with excitement as I held and shook all my wrapped presents, trying to guess what was inside. It would finally come...Christmas Eve. Oh the glory of Christmas Eve! My parents ran he local movie theaters. We'd close up the theater after the first movie and come home. Then the excruciating wait would begin. My sister and her husband and my niece Melissa would already be there, but my brother and his family would be at his wife's parent's house celebrating with them first. This was always frustration #1, waiting for them to get there. When he and his family finally arrived, frustration #2 would begin...eating. We'd have the greatest party foods and drinks. When I was old enough, I got to participate in the joy of the mixed drinks, but when I was little, my mother would always have plenty of tasty things for us kids. My nieces and nephew and I would eat our goodies, then go into the living room to sit around the Christmas tree and once again look over our presents. The wait was excruciating, though not as painful as the frustration looming in the near distance. I can remember gathering all of my gifts together in a pile...sort of like a treasure hoard, keeping them counted and within my sight. When the adults had FINALLY finished eating, then began the most awful frustration of our Christmas frustrations.....frustration #3, taking pictures.


I still hate the endless picture taking that happens during out family holiday gatherings. Maybe it's a hold over from the seemingly never ending ritual we were forced to endure before we could finally open our presents. Every possible combination and grouping of man, woman, child and often times pets was painfully and horribly executed. Then finally...FINALLY! it was over and we got to open our presents! One family member, usually my sister it seems, would be Santa and pass out gifts. The paper would fly! During this euphoric event, the flash bulbs would be going off of course, our parents wanting to capture our happiness.

After the opening of the gifts, things really mellowed out, and we kids would play with our toys and eat more goodies, and talk about Santa Claus. This was the most beloved frustration and the remembrance of it still stirs my heart. Frustration #4...waiting for Santa.

My niece Melissa was only two years younger than I and more like a sister. We would lay in bed for hours, way too excited to sleep. We'd talk and giggle and speculate about Santa...sometimes thinking up schemes to catch him at our fireplace! I'll never forget a time when it seems we both woke up way in the night, and I decided I was going to go and see if Santa'd come yet. I got up out of bed and crept through the hall, through the living room, and into the den. To this day I'll swear this is true-there was Santa, standing at the fireplace with his back to me, busily doing something! He turned around quickly and saw me.....he shook his finger at me! I ran back to my room as fast as my little legs could carry me and FLEW back into bed! I told the story to Melissa, who was of course excied, awe-struck, and a little scared as well. If you really think about it, the presence of a supernatural being in your house at night when you're little is kinda scarey! I can't remember if we were able to get back to sleep.

In the morning, we of course gloried in the glow of Santa's generous, benelovet love. This one particular Christmas experience all came to a grand climax, when my Daddy called all us kids over to the fireplace to show us something he'd discovered in the ash.....a boot print! There in the ashes of our fireplace was Santa's boot print! To a child, this confirmation of our most beloved and sacred belief was comparable to a Christian seeing the appearance of Christ Himself!

Did Santa really appear to me? Did he leave his boot print in the ashes for us to find? Most likely, Daddy and put his boot in the ash himself to thrill us kids. He was, in many ways, a big kid himself and loved seing happy children more than anything. He never said that he was the one, and I really don't recall ever asking. However, as long as I live, I will swear that I truely saw Santa. I've talked about this with my mother over the years. One time she said, "well, maybe you really did see Santa!"

My sweet little mother explained to me the true meaning of Santa and the "spirit" of Christmas.....Love, generosity, compassion. Could the great spirit of love and giving take form and appear to a wonder-filled little boy? I'd like to think so....

I wish all of you around the world who read my humble blog the most joyous, loving, and wonder-filled Christmas ever. May you all find your little "Christmas Miracle!"

Love and Blessings,

Michael

Saturday, December 20, 2008

 
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New pics....

 

 

 

 

I took these pics last night. The camera I have at the moment is a $10.00 cheapy...you get what ya pay for.
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Thursday, December 11, 2008

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Why Are Gay Men So Flakey?



I typed this question into Google today, and couldn't really find a satisfactory answer. I saw many articles on why gay men lie about their age and cock size, why they cheat so much, and a couple of other combinations that just didn't fit the bill. I wanted to know, specifically, why gay men seem more apt to be inconsistant, unreliable, undependable, and seemingly unable to commit to a relationship, though they may represent themselves as indeed seeking "something more" than a quick "quickie" or as they say on Gay.Com, a hookup. In other words, why are gay men such assholes?

I"ve been pondering this question for twenty-something years. I have to admit, that in my much younger days I would have qualfied as a flake, an enormous flake as a matter of fact. But I grew up.

Why does this ability to grow up seem to ellude my kind?

I read a pseudo-biographical novel many years ago entitled The Beautiful Room is Empty, by Edmund White. In the book, he coined a catchy phrase I've never forgotten: "embalmed adolescence." This phrase really struck a chord with me. I saw myself and 90 some odd percent of my gay acquaintances and former lovers described to a tee.

Why?

The answer, as I said, eludes me. As a gay male adult in the dating scene and wanting to settle down, I'm unfortunately faced with this behavior in others, particularly in guys whom I know, and would like to know even better. I'm a "realist," though. Although I insist on seeing the good in my fellow man, in trusting again and again, I can't help but feel constant disappointment. If there are ANY gay men out there who read this, and can show to me some evidence that they truly are trustworthy, consistent, true to their word and mean what they say, I'll gladly retract this article and eat my words. Until then, however, I'm forced to remain a reluctant realist.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Human idiocey never ceases to amaze me....


Wal-Mart Worker Trampled to Death by Stampeding Shoppers
Wal-Mart Worker Dies after Shoppers Knock Him Down
Friday, November 28, 2008
By Colleen Long, Associated Press

Wal-Mart store (AP Photo)(New York) - A worker was killed in the crush Friday after a throng of shoppers eager for post-Thanksgiving bargains burst through the doors at a suburban Wal-Mart, authorities said.

At least four other people were injured, and the store in Valley Stream on Long Island was closed.

Wal-Mart Stores Inc. in Bentonville, Ark., called the incident a "tragic situation" and said the employee came from a temporary agency and was doing maintenance work at the store.

"He was bum-rushed by 200 people," co-worker Jimmy Overby, 43, told the Daily News. "They took the doors off the hinges. He was trampled and killed in front of me. They took me down too. ... I literally had to fight people off my back."

Nassau County police said the 34-year-old worker was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced dead at about 6 a.m. The man's name was not released and the cause of death was not immediately known.

A police statement said shortly after the store's 5 a.m. opening time, shoppers "physically broke down the doors, knocking (the worker) to the ground."

A metal portion of the door was crumpled like an accordion.

Shoppers around the country lined up early outside stores in the annual bargain hunting ritual known as Black Friday. Many stores open early and stay open late, and some of the most dramatic bargains are available in limited quantities.

Among the bargains offered by Wal-Mart for Friday were Samsung 50-inch high definition Plasma TVs for less than $800.

Witnesses told the Daily News that before the store was closed, eager shoppers streamed past emergency crews as they worked furiously to save the worker's life.

"They were working on him, but you could see he was dead," said Halcyon Alexander, 29. "People were still coming through."

A 28-year-old pregnant woman was taken to a hospital for observation, and she and the unborn baby were both reported to be OK, said Sgt. Anthony Repalone, a Nassau County police spokesman. Four or five other people suffered minor injuries, he said.

Ellen Davis, a spokeswoman at National Retail Federation, said the group knew of no other incident where a retail employee has died working on the day after Thanksgiving.

Wal-Mart is working closely with police, company spokesman Dan Fogleman said.

"The safety and security of our customers and associates is our top priority," Fogleman said. "Our thoughts and prayers are with them and their families at this difficult time."

(Copyright 2008 Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.


This is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard! I've always said that the post Thanksgiving Day sale was the most ridiculous, inane exercise in stupidity that the American people have ever been duped into participating in! This custom is nothing but a market/media created circus to kick off the commercial orgy of a religious holiday with a sickening bang. I used to see news vids of lines upon lines of foolish ignoramuses standing out in freezing weather all night just so they could get into a store first...to save, oh what....maybe a couple of bucks? We all know that "specials" and "discounts" really amount to nothing at all. It's just a marketing tool to reel the sheep in. So....there are going to be families celebrating Christ's birth this year without someone they loved. Merry fuckin' Christmas.....

Wednesday, December 3, 2008






MGMT

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Update.....


Wow...time has really flown by. I've been to busy to sit down and write. My new job is going well. I'm still orienting with another nurse, and I'm really getting ready to be done with orientation and get out on my own. I work with some really nice people. There is a large number of African nurses where I work. I noticed this a couple of years ago when I was living and working here. There was a great influx of Filipino nurses for several years, and then the Africans started coming in. They're a really wonderful people...very hardworking, honest, and faith-filled people. They are always smiling and laughing.

I missed the Rosie O'Donnell variety show....I had to work that night. I don't really know how it went, but I'm sure it was a travesty.

Thanksgiving was really nice. We had dinner in the afternoon, and then when I went to work that night, we had dinner again. The African girls brought some of their native foods, and we also had turkey, of course. Eating the African fod was a realy great experience. The flavors were intense and completely different....nothing like I'd tasted before.

I've been spending quite a bit of time with my friend and roommate Brian. He's a great guy...funny, entertaining, and a caring friend. I had a date the other night...the first one in a LONG time. It was very nice....I'm afraid to say much about him for fear of jinxing the whole thing. Well, it's almost 6:00 am and I'm really starting to get sleepy. On my nights off, I pretty much just stay up all night and sleep during the day to keep my body in synch. That's all I have to report on my life at the moment.....I'm feeling very blessed.
Brian

Monday, December 1, 2008

New favorite band....




MGMT...fab band

Sunday, November 23, 2008

 
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Thursday, November 20, 2008

 
 
 
 
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Oh Amy........

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The return of Nurse Ratchet.....


Got a job yesterday! I walked in, handed the guy my resume, filled out an application, and was hired on the spot. He asked me to name my salary.....God it's good to be wanted! I am so blessed to have a profession in which this could happen. It's great to know that you can always find good work. The money's great, the hours perfect for me. It's at a Skilled Nursing/Rehabilitation center. I don't have to give meds or do any direct patient care, just supervise the other nurses and techs. What was that old saying about the lunatics running the asylum?!? I'll be charge nurse.....or, as I like to refer to myself, a....... Head Nurse! So, start my orientation on Friday.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Sunday

It's a beautiful day...the cold front that swept through the area finally swept out. I've been sitting out in the sun...watching the squirrels play. I know....pretty mundane and boring, but I like the simple life at the moment. My life is pretty much 12 step meetings and cofee, conversation and music right now, which beats crack and vodka believe me. It's a Big Redneck Weding day...enjoying laughing at those less socially astute than myself.....that's a nice way of putting it, isn't it?

I'm going to Austin Recovery's main campus tonight for a little church service/12 step program they put on every Sunday. I spent 90 days there 4 years ago. It was one of the best expereinces of my life. Boys, friends, good food.....what else does anyone need? Found a great sponsor this week at my home group, Bouldin. We had cofee and food last night and discussed philosophy, religion, and the insanity of addiction. He's a great guy and I'm looking forward to working with him.





You'll never work in this town again.....



Starting a serious job hunt tomorrow. Unfortunately, I burned some bridges a couple of years ago, so my options are limited some, not too much though. The great thing about being a nurse is that you can always pretty much write your own ticket. It's such a broad field, you can find your niche in many different settings.

I was intending to go the church today, but I overslept. Went to sleep on the couch last night. Woke up about five and stumbled into bed....it all went down hill from there. However....I do have Betty's expereince with the Baptists to learn from.....

Betty Butterield visits......The Baptists




Remember! No Sex on Sunday! God said so!
Kisses....
Michael

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Still Cool........



It's a beautiful day...warm, sunny. I love Austin weather. Today I decided to treat myself. I'm here at Bouldin Creek Coffee House, sitting outside having a lovely mocha-feeze and smoking my clove cigarettes...being cool with all the cool people here....lol....I love this place. I'm "communing" with Austin's "cool" community, the bohemians this city is so famous for. Leslie's even here! I hadn't seen Leslie in years. For a description of exactly who Leslie is, see my old post, "Viva la Leslie."

Several years ago, I wrote a bit in my other blog called "Terminally Cool." It was something of a tirade, actually. Can't remember exactly what set it off. Anyway, the "Terminally Cool" are an offshoot of an old phrase I coined in college...the Mock Intense. These are cool cats and chicks who take themselves and their uniqueness way too seriously. Austinites, and other cool individuals such as myself (not Terminally Cool!) know exactly what I'm talking about.

I'm really glad to be back in this environment, actually. I'm SO happy to be out of New Mexico and back in this city! Let them be as intellectual, overly philosophic and intense as they want. They're part of Austin and I love them.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008