Yes, it's oficial....Mars has now been acknowledged as the official home planet of Bigfoot...the Yeti...Momo...Skunk Ape....yes, they go by many names....all part of their nefarious plot to infiltrate and destroy the American way of life!
In an official NASA and CIA press release this morning, it was finally revealed that yes, an alien space craft did indeed crash in the New Mexico desert in the 40's. And...most shocking, the craft was piloted by an all Sasquach crew! The revelations continued....that the Sasquatch race has been guiding and influencing human evolution for millenia. Ties to Al Quida have been uncovered, and it is believed that the Martian Sasquatch are now preparing for a full scale invasion of planet Earth.
As expected, President Bush is preparing to address congress this afternoon to seek approval to launch a full out nuclear obliteration of the planet Mars, and massive troop deployment throuchout US forrests and mountain ranges to "hunt, seek, and destroy this threat to American security, " both on world and off. "We gotta get those big 'ol monkies!" Bush said this morning. Evangelical ministers and leaders are rallying around the President and voicing God's approval of total Sasquatch extenction. "God said to me just this morning that if we don't destroy this Godless Satan-spawned race, God will punish us, just like He did with 911 and Katrina!" said the Rev Pat Robertson. A link between the Sasquatch and the "Gay Agenda" was also identified by Rev John Hagee of Cornerstone Church, San Antonio Texas.
Fox News will provide 24-7 coverage as the war escalates. Please stay tuned.
No comments:
Post a Comment